Fans Are Bed Bugs

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Aaradhya Bachchan with her world famous mother, actress Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.

Background: The Delhi High Court in India, speaking on behalf of Aaradhya Bachchan, an 11 year-old child, demanded YouTube remove videos that lie about her health. YouTube said it will comply, which brings us to the colour of the internet, videos in particular.

The internet is an amazing dye. It effectively removes a leopard’s spots. Impossible! It's possible online where someone says a Bollywood actor's grandchild or a famous Nigerian singer's child is dead, and 847 000 'fans' click to open the lie.

What is a fan? Here are two descriptions. Famous actors and musicians don’t talk about it but I wonder which description they prefer.

Fanatic: my research unveiled something. Apparently ‘fan’ comes from fanatic. I never connected the two. To me a fanatic is somebody so crazy about his religion, he’ll kill somebody then commit suicide. Religious fanatic, that is how it is always used. Rihanna is the flavour of the year because of the Super Bowl half-time presentation, but her fans are called fans, not Rihanna fanatics.

Fan: my research also has this definition: “an apparatus with rotating blades that creates a current of air for cooling or ventilation.” Hold on Einstein. Everybody knows what a fan is. They have them at home, workshop or office. Nigerian actresses even have face fans because they live in a hot country and lights make the set extra hot, ruining make-up. You’ve seen women holding them in Nigerian weddings online.

I will be interested in how celebrities feel about both descriptions because they ‘fan’ the fire, to keep fans coming. They re-marry, remain in blood chilling marriages or buy another woman’s womb to have a child just to keep cameras rolling. The writing on the wall is clear: no kids, no future interest in you.

Having said that, fans are for all practical purposes fanatics. They are leeches. They don’t want a selfie with an actor because they love him. They want content for their Facebook, Instagram or YouTube pages. It’s all about page views. Fans fan rumors that celebrities are married, pregnant or dead. Is that love? Who cares? Fans want page views.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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