Dad Is On The Phone

Copy cats. It’s what kids do. They copy parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles. That is how they are ‘brought up’ or ‘raised’ as African Americans put it.

They touch elders’ feet to greet them because they see their parents doing it. Reporters based in Mumbai, India, seemed surprised when they first saw Aaradhya, daughter of Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, touching her grandfather’s feet.

Girls in Nigeria bend their knees to greet elders. Boys put hands on the ground to receive elders’ blessings. In South Africa, kids receive food and gifts with two hands because they grew up seeing that.

That is why I don’t understand how grabbing is socially accepted. It took me a while to get used to ‘grab and go’, as take-out food is called in Canada and the U.S.

Kids also copy social norms. Before cellphones, radio stations had news, religious and mainstream music. Because kids are copy cats, they danced to the music when they saw parents dancing. Sometimes they fell on their bums. No problem. They scrambled up and danced again, bringing joy to the home.

Because kids are copy cats, they bring a dust pan when they see someone sweeping. They try to tie garbage bags. They make a mess using hashi/otemoto, as chopsticks are called in Japan, but they figure it out and become experts like their parents.

That was before cellphones. Kids born in the digital age don’t have much to copy because mum and dad are glued to phones and computers, busy copying what is online. They cannot dance to music because the radio is not on. Parents listen to music in their phones through headphones, which are designed to shut out the world, including kids.

Eye contact is lost which means there is no communication. That hurts kids the most because they crave for validation after doing little things, that are part of the growing up journey.

‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’

Fear is born.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.