Things Love Cannot Fix

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 Divorce? Why?

I got a better job in Toronto. She refuses to follow me.


This is a hypothetical situation but what if? Marriage is till death do us part, right? So she must follow him to Toronto. Must she, what if she loves her job in Alberta and they have a big house, which will cost a fortune in Toronto?

Love will conquer all. That is why many things are not spelt out before the woman accepts the engagement ring. Before Hollywood introduced romance and the whole I Love You industry, culture and religion determined who marries who. They also glued the marriage because women knew they had no choice. It’s a man’s world.

Culture and religion are still there but in a downward spiral because we moved away from cultural and religious basins, to cities and sometimes to other countries. This gives us options when we want to marry. Love is one of them. However, love is like the sun, it has sunrise and sunset.

Sunset brings divorce and it affects money. Who gets what? That is why some couples draw up a prenuptial contract to determine how property will be divided or not divided, should the sun set. Couples marry later in this century around 30, which means both men and women bring money and other assets to the marriage.

The prenup is for the sunset, when things go sour. It doesn’t cover good times, when the sun still shines on the home front. We do not write a marriage business plan because love is the foundation. We think it will mend cracks in the marriage.

Culture and religion are not palatable to outsiders, but there is no ambiguity. She will move to Toronto. In a love based marriage, she might opt for divorce rather that uproot herself from Alberta. Sounds drastic you think?

That is why marriage business plans should be the norm, where couples examine all the possibilities and agree on how they will be dealt with. It’s not difficult. Some couples agree to postpone having kids because of careers. They can also include in the marriage business plan, things that might adversely affect their love based marriage.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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