The Brain App

The 8th of July '22 is memorable in Canada because data thieves hacked Rogers, which provides wireless services. There was no email. We couldn't buy milk and tomatoes and pay with bank cards. Bank machines could not spit out dollars, after we punched in our codes. 

It was also a reminder that we are brain dead, hostages of digital landlords. We need a brain app. There is an app for everything, right?

Many people continue to make money online because they oil their brain regularly. They identify problems and come up with apps to solve them. This puts Meta Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg on an acquisition high, because he snaps them up for his stable.

We might not be aware that we are brain dead, until we see a toddler crawling about, encounters an obstacle and comes up with a plan to work around it. It brings a smile to family members, but it also reminds us that we under-fund the brain.

Trending. This is a good example of under-funding the brain. We rely on others to think for us, to determine what needs our attention now, now. It’s an emergency. Drop everything you’re doing.

It’s convenient to blame the internet, but under-funding the brain is not new. In Victorian England society ladies all trooped to powder rooms after dinner to powder their noses, while men drank port and decided which brothel to visit after dropping off the ‘fair’ sex home.

It still happens in the wi-fi era. Women go to the bathroom to apply lipstick and fix their hair, including factory hair, while males plan hostile take-overs. It’s under-funding the brain to perpetuate an archaic practice.

Not wearing white after Labor Day. It’s something I first discovered in American novels. It sounds like an accusation, something forbidden, a disgrace of some sort. The good news is, the person wearing white has a fully funded brain. She doesn’t go with flow, not knowing why the flow started and where it will end.

Under-funding the brain is a good thing at work. You don’t want to use your brain to full capacity because the boss might feel threatened. Co-workers might also hate you.

In the jungle, animals know that under-funding the brain is suicidal because killer cats can smell it a mile away. In the human world, and online in particular, under-funding the brain makes you a celebrity.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.