The Hated Family Member

The proverb, black sheep of the family has connotations of wrong doing that brings shame to the family. It might be a cousin who is in prison for some despicable act, an aunt who abandoned her husband and two kids and ran away with the pool guy or the son who calls himself the ‘heir’ but does not contribute a dollar for the following events.

Christmas, academic excellence like graduation, annual religious days, cultural events and national holidays like Canada Day, Fourth of July or Bastille Day in France, bring families together. But they also resurrect dormant hate for a family member that is more committed to family longevity than others.

Seeing long lost relatives because of texting and addiction to the internet, is good news. But, it needs money for bags of rice, corn meal, flour, sacks of potatoes, canned tomatoes, gallons of olive oil, soda and bottles of drinks from Scotland, for grandfather’s friends. You know the freezer will be stocked to the brim with poultry, fish and meat.

That family member takes the initiative to remind the whole family about upcoming celebrations. When the burden is too much, she relies on her reassurance who says: ‘You know your brother now, just go ahead and do what you have to do.’

The reassurance is not perfect, but at least he sends his contribution on time, or has a wife who nudges him to do the money transfer. Time and tide waits for no man, so the person who wears many hats: initiator, chief financial officer and event planner arranges a successful family gathering.

In true fashion, non-contributing family members turn up with friends, boyfriends and other characters. Instead of saying thank you to the event planner, they back-bite her.

“She’s a control freak."

“But she’s your sister!”

“So what? She thinks she’s better than all of us.” 

The event planner ignores the comments and starts saving for the following year.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.