Garbage Consultant

She's very rich. Why? She hired someone to tell her what chairs 

and cushions to buy and where to put them. Photo: store display.

Discard counselor?

What is that? I found it in a novel, so it must be man-made or woman-made. Octavia, a character in the book has a part-time job. She goes to people’s homes and tells them what to throw away.

It’s something I don’t understand, like interior decorators. You buy a house, something small, with four bedrooms, four bathrooms which includes the guest bathroom downstairs, a country kitchen with a pantry and a top floor which could be used as an apartment.

Yes, something small like that. After buying it you bring in an interior decorator to decorate it for you. Interior decorators are humans so they have their view of the world, colour and art.

They might have ostentatious ideas inspired by your wealth, but do not demonstrate your personality. No, that doesn’t happen, you say. I will give them specs of what I want.

Families in one bed-room apartments and basements will laugh at the idea of paying somebody to make a home, a home.  They don’t have anybody to tell them where to put the king bed. They don’t have one. They have a twin bed and kids use sleeping bags, or sleep on the floor in warm countries. Well! It’s not our problem. They are responsible for their situation.

Point taken, but their homes are real homes. A cross on the wall. Family photo glued with cellphone on the wall. It’s their choice. Therefore, they’ll never hire a discard counselor to tell them what to discard.

You do, in the small house with four bedrooms and four bathrooms, because you don’t remember why the interior decorator bought certain things in the first place.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.