The New B Phone

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Old School e-mail.

This new phone that is driving me crazy, is indicative of worse things to come, which is the brain phone.

It will read my brain that i feel like pizza tonight and bham! all the huts that sell pizza will send texts about the game night pizza package, election night vegetarian special or, Halloween combo complete with pumpkin toppings.

I kid you not. It’s possible. Remember the book 1984 by George Orwell? The government is watching the nation. Cameras everywhere, they know what citizens are doing and what is going on in their brain.

It was no big deal for Africans in apartheid South Africa because we lived in a police state. We were used to police dogs, surveillance, and being tortured to death like Steve Bantu Biko, of the Black Consciousness Movement.

This new cellphone constantly interrupts my search with pop-up suggestions. The brain cellphone they are secretly developing with be worse that current phones, which already put us in the same situation as George Orwell’s book.

Cellphones control us under the guise of finding more ‘friends’. How does Twitter and Linked In suggest who I should befriend? How did this happen? It’s because I made a search, trying to locate an old professor.

BRAIN CELLPHONES

1. I’m thinking that we’ve run out of toilet paper. Guess what? All the grocery stores send me texts about 6-packs, 12 or 24 packs.

2. I’m thinking about taking the next plane out to visit immediate and distant relatives. Guess what? Airline companies blow up my phone.

3. I’m thinking about getting a flu shot because of this pandemic. Guess what? All the pharmacies in this area send me text about business hours.

4. I’m thinking about committing suicide. Guess what? All the suicide prevention programs around here call to counsel me over the phone.

5. My heart beats a mile a minute. Guess what? Sirens at the door, paramedics have come to rush me to hospital. Is that good? I suppose.

6. Driving lessons. I’m thinking that the driving instructor is, I call him a bad name. Guess what? He says ‘You too.’

The list is endless. Scary isn’t it? The brain cellphone is in its final stages of development, and it’s the new version of George Orwell’s book, 1984.

In the meantime, how do I stop these pop-up interruptions on this new phone? I wish they’ll make ‘no frills’ phones for people who actually have something useful to do in life, than play with phones.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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