Hotel Rooms Look The Same

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Store display.

We drool over the rich and famous because of what they have: Size 2 clothes, immaculate make-up, Italian and German vehicles, apartments in New York City, houses in California and travel. Cameras follow them to LA, Toronto, Aspen, Milan, London, Tokyo and Accra Ghana.

Travel. What comes to mind? Flying business class obviously, land at an airport, clear customs and check into a hotel. It sounds glamorous to us, until they say: hotel rooms look the same. Just kidding. I don’t think they’ll ever admit that. Their agents won’t like it and movie producers will be mad as hell.

Hotel rooms look the same because of perfection. It’s something alien. The last time we saw a properly made bed, was when we lived at home because mama didn’t tolerate any foolishness of get-up-and-go, without making your bed.

Hotel beds are crafted not made. They remind us of the work of art we saw in furniture stores and the inevitable warning from parents: Don’t touch. We paid for the hotel room so we must sleep on the bed, but they are so intimidating, we even think of calling Front Desk so that they can send somebody to extricate the intricate bed.

How about the bathroom? Crowded like Yonge and Bloor subway station in Toronto. So pretty to look at, we are scared of putting our cloth cosmetic bags on the sink counter. The hair dryer on the wall chuckles at our confusion as we unravel the little bottles. The conditioner, shampoo and hand cream have the same texture. We don’t even need them because we brought a bar of Sunlight, which does everything, wash hair, face, body and the unmentionables.

You forgot something. What? These celebrities you are talking about sleep in suites, not ordinary hotel rooms. True true, but the bed is made the same, prim and proper like a shroud.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

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