Can't Marry You. You Married To Your Phone

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Out on a date, are we? With our phones.

Summer.  Love is in the air, crooned a singer somewhere. Summer weddings were on the rise this year '22, after being on hold because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Wedding planners love this season so that they can make some cash, but they are also offering unusual legal services. There’s a third party to the marriage, the cellphone. That’s why things must be written down.

Are you going to sign a social media pre-nuptial contract? Says the wedding planner.

Excuse me? (says man and woman).

Yes.  A pre-nup about how you guys are going to conduct your marriage on the internet.  O.K. let me break it down for you.

Social Media Pre-Nup Contract

1.      No posting of wedding photos. Guests, switch off your phones.

 

2.      No posting of wedding presents.

 

3.      No online honeymoon photos.

 

4.      No online photos of blended children (his and hers).

 

5.      No online pregnancy photos.

 

6.      No online photos of day old babies (they might sue parents when they grow up).

 

7.      No posting of happy moments (Valentine’s Day, wedding anniversaries etc.).

 

8.      No posting of wife abuse.

 

9.      No accusations of cheating on me.

 

10.  No online reaction to whatever Twitter says about your marriage.

 

Bad news. YouTube, Google, Instagram, FB and the whole fraternity is taking social media pre-nup attorneys to court for unfair trade practices.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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