Selfies at the Gym Hilarious

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 ‘We are not liable, period’, said the Association of Fitness Centres.

Actress Jennifer Lopez. Photo credit, online pic.

Well! Something like that. I’m not aware of a court case where a member sued a fitness centre for a broken leg after a 10 lb dumb bell crushed it. How? She was holding it in one hand and taking a selfie with the other.

Some people go to the gym to workout because they’ve already bought a swimsuit that is a size smaller, for their mid-November vacation in Cancun, Mexico. Others took gym membership to run away from someone at home, even if it’s for two hours.

There are still people who go to the gym for legitimate exercise to keep that tummy pancake flat, for as long as possible and to maintain the good old heart in great shape, so that it can pump in or pump out blood to wherever it is supposed to go.

Then there is the Instagram crew. They need to update their show-and-tell regularly so, they go to the gym with some reconstruction on. Make-up. Not much, just a little foundation to avoid the shiny face and maybe a semi nude lipstick. Yes, make-up is reconstruction because we look like all kinds of porridge in the morning. Make-up makes us attractive, like Spanish paella.

INSTAGRAM SCENES

1. Spread the exercise mat and put cellphone within reach. Do warm-up stretches for a minute. Reach for the phone and take selfie for five minutes.

2. Head for the treadmill. Take a selfie. Tread some mill for two minutes. Take a selfie to make an interesting post which is? BEFORE and AFTER treadmill.

3. Thigh master. Exercise for a minute. Reach for the designer water bottle. Take a sip. Put down the bottle and reach for the phone. Logistics. Trying to selfie the improved thigh and your face is a logistical nightmare but we shall not be daunted.

4. The butt. Thanks to women rappers and rap magazines who put it out there for the world to see, the butt has now, what do they say, crossed-over? Fitness gurus stress its importance. Followers demand it.  Try taking a selfie of the butt. No, can’t do, so the Instagram crew usually ask someone to take the pic.

5. Dumb bells. Disaster. Hold one in one hand, and take a selfie with the other? Bham! It chops your leg and the fitness centre is not responsible.

Those are mini Instagram movies at the gym. Fortunately, nobody is dumb enough to take a selfie in the Atlantic, Pacific or other ocean because sharks are waiting and willing to taste some organic flesh YOU.

By:  Nonqaba waka Msimang.

 

 

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