New York Mothers and Mental Health
I’m using the famous city in the United States of A. deliberately. It’s a generic name I’ve given to urban women raising kids in North America and Europe. They are super heroes, doing a job created for a village, all alone.
Old English movies and books have nannies, women who looked after kids, washed them and presented them to their parents who were earls and duchesses, for admiration. After that, the nanny took them back to the nursery.
Nannies are alive and well in New York City and Los Angeles, but it is only for billionaires, rich musicians and film stars. This piece is about millions of women in world cities who do everything on top of being nanny.
Women in so-called Third World countries do not understand the concept of play dates. Kids are kids and the first few years are dedicated to play. Kids in these countries wake up in the morning, do their chores and off they are, to play with neighbours and cousins. At some stage parents miss them but console themselves: They’ll come back when they are hungry.
New York mothers are super heroes because they bring up kids in closets. Kids grow up in elevators on their way to go and play in the park. There is no space like in other parts of the world where rivers, oceans, mountains and valleys are playgrounds. Kids’ safety gnaw New York mothers’ mental health. Are the kids safe in school and the park?
As if that is not enough, New York mothers worry about husbands. They can’t wait to be physically fit to resume intimacy. They might even blame new-born kids for husbands’ philandering. Worse still, they don’t want to admit that men get it somewhere else during pregnancy and when the woman delivers.
So-called Third World women know that, but the man is not important. They worry about the wonderful new gift and have the support of women in both families and the community to raise it.
Luggage. New York mothers carry a lot of luggage when taking kids out, because they think about all kinds of possible scenarios. That is why the bottom of the stroller is full, and mothers’ backpacks weigh a ton.
What also damages New York mothers’ mental health are hostile kids, bored with their parents but there is no alternative. It’s just mom, Leggo blocks, TV, video games and iPads. In countries colonized by the Queen and Europe, mothers smile when they go visiting.
Kids run to relatives to help them with luggage. Next are kids on mothers’ backs or old enough to walk by themselves. Kids of the host family whisk visiting kids away to play. Mothers will see them supper time or when toddlers are asleep, tired from playing with host kids.
New York mothers have mental health problems. What is the solution? They decide to have just one or two kids because cities in North America and Europe expect the impossible from them, to do a collective job alone, in closed spaces.
By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.
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