An August Visitor

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 VOICE MAIL: Sorry, I’m not here to take your call, because I have an august visitor. Please leave your name and number and I’ll call you back in September.

I can never understand English. Today is the first of August. Why are important visitors called august visitors? Do they drop by only this month? I consider myself a likeable person, but I don’t have 31 visitors, like the 31 days in August.

Of all the months in the year, why did the English language pick August to describe important visitors? It is not biblical because the Pope chose to go to Canada in July, not August. He was an august visitor. Not necessarily.

It depends on who is talking. Roman Catholics were overjoyed I guess, to see a human being that represents their god. Most Indigenous people did not regard him as an august visitor. They see the Roman Catholic Church as an extinguisher, that  destroyed their human-ness.

What makes someone an august visitor? Do they come bearing gifts? Mama molded us into what we are today and one of her teachings was gifts for all kids living  under one roof, our grandparents’ house. You can’t bring gifts only for your brothers and sisters and not cousins.

However, caretakers of the English language must wake up and smell the coffee. There are no august visitors anymore because of money. Surprise! Surprise! Does not work anymore. We can barely feed ourselves. Call and state your intention to visit. It might be accepted or declined.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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