Social Media Pre-Nup

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Summer.  Love is in the air, crooned a singer somewhere.  Summer weddings coming up (hope the rain behaves). 

Wedding planners love this season so that they can make some cash, but they are also offering unusual legal services.

Are you going to sign a social media pre-nuptial contract? Says the wedding planner, with the designer reading glasses.

Excuse me? (says man and woman).

Yes.  A pre-nup about how you guys are going to conduct your marriage on the internet.  O.K. let me break it down for you.

Social Media Pre-Nup Contract

1.      No posting of wedding photos (guests will, but that cannot be controlled).

2.      No posting of wedding presents.

3.      No online honeymoon photos.

4.      No online photos of blended children (his and hers).

5.      No online pregnancy photos.

6.      No online photos of day old babies (they might sue parents when they grow up).

7.      No posting of happy moments (Valentine’s Day, wedding anniversaries etc.).

8.      No posting of wife abuse.

9.      No accusations of cheating on me.

10.  No online reaction to whatever Twitter says about your marriage.

Bad news.  Google, Instagram, FB and the whole fraternity is taking social media pre-nup attorneys to court for unfair trade practices.

Nonqaba waka Msimang is the author of Sweetness the novel.

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