Home Office Filing Mess

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I’m going to see a shrink, as soon as I win the Lotto. I have a problem, a paper problem. Almost everything is electronic now, but I keep tons of paper in this rudimentary home office.

I still get some paper receipts and notices delivered by Canada Post. Other receipts are from devious stores. They have all kinds of tricks.

“Do you want your receipt or should we e-mail it?” They think they are slick. I’m supposed to give you my e-mail address right? Is it in the constitution? I came, I saw, maybe I tried on something, I bought. Period. That’s the end of the relationship.  Why do you want my e-mail?

Now back to the filing mess, in this home office. Why do I keep the following when they are also sent to my computer?

1. Pay slips from old jobs. I was fired from some of them. Chaayi!

2. Tax returns from donkey years ago.

3. Post office receipts. I sent parcels and books to some people. Confirmation is online so why am I keeping the paper trail?

4. Bank statements. Monthly statements are electronic but some banks still send paper statements as back-up.

5. Phone and internet papers. The phone and home internet are a bundle. I pay electronically but they still send paper invoices. Why am I keeping them?

6. The government. They love paper trails. They approve your application. They send a confirmation in the mail. They stop your benefits. They send a letter in the mail. They over-pay you by 0.99 cents.They send a letter, but why am I keeping 6 year-old government love letters?

7. Annual reports. I’m a writer so I keep them for reference purposes but the joke is: most of them are outdated because they send me monthly and weekly electronic updates.

I just remembered why my desk is full of stale invoices. I keep them to prove the lie. They promised us that computers will cut down the paper trail, save some trees, and we believed them.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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