Self Confidence in Foreign Lands

Kids that were born in Africa, Asia or South America have a tough time adjusting in European and American schools, because of the absence of familiarity.

They come from places where, despite class differences, everybody looked like them, ate the same food, loved cricket, soccer or carnival, belonged to the same religion and more importantly, spoke the same language.

That plus becomes a minus abroad, because classmates might call them weird or use plain racist terms. Depending on their age, some kids try to fit in the new environment by shedding the coat their parents gave them from birth, which is love and belonging.

This might end in disaster because when teenagers act up, the police will beat or arrest the black boy first. In April 2018, a worker at a Starbucks in Philadelphia, called the police to arrest two African Americans, Rashon Nelson and Donte Robinson for sitting in the coffee shop.

COAT OF BELONGING
Who are you? We take that coat of belonging for granted when we grow up in communities of the familiar, where boys throw away cigarettes  because they see Uncle Semi coming. Uncle Semi works at the post office and might tell their parents.

When kids arrive in Canada, they might throw away the coat of belonging by discarding their name. Ademola becomes Dan, which is a pity because the prefix ade- to one’s name means something in Yoruba. Ask any Nigerian.

It is worse for people born in mainland China or Shanghai. They choose completely different names that can be written in French or English. Books like Outrun the Moon by Stacey Lee deal with this.

SEEING YOURSELF IN MOVIES
Black Panther, the Disney/Marvel movie directed by Ryan Coogler was an astronomical box office success because of the coat of belonging. Black people saw black people who look like the majority of black people all over the world. For a change they did not see themselves on a prison yard or collecting welfare.

I screen Yoruba movies because of that coat of belonging. Yoruba language could be termed a sister language to Zulu because most words are pronounced like in Zulu but mean something completely different.  I find Igbo totally different from my mother tongue.

The coat of belonging I find in Yoruba movies is the child’s name and surname. Kids in South Africa grow up with poems (izithakazelo) attached to their last names. These poems denote lineage, who you are, where you come from and your connection to your great grandparents, that have passed on.

What makes the coat of belonging extra warm is that the general public also knows these poems (izithakazelo). That is why I smile when someone says Thabizolo. That is belonging, identity.

We seldom appreciate our parents and grandparents when they are alive. Why? We claim we know better than them, especially in these days of hashtags, selfies and followers.

I thank my parents, grandparents and extended family on both my mother’s side (aba-kwa Ngcobo) and my father’s side for wrapping me in that coat.

It is a bullet proof vest for life abroad. Whatever they say, I know I’m beautiful, intelligent and matter. Yes I matter. Mama said so, poems behind my name (izithakazelo) say so.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.