Wedding Gifts And Debt

-

Wedding magazines are pretty, pretty, pretty!

Dentists still keep them as reading material to take your mind off things to come: X-rays and instruments that hum, scrape and poke.

Inside pages of wedding magazines have advertisements that are not realistic, something contrary to the marriage reality.  Bride and groom came to the reality that they are really into each and would like to hang around each other through thick and thin: in-laws from hell or from semi-heaven, makeup-less mornings, stubby chins and joint bank account budgeting.

That budgeting might not include items depicted in ads for coffeemakers, slow cookers, cutlery, glassware and pots.  Sorry, are the ads for the bridal shower?  Let’s say there are.  Very few guests can afford them unless they are of the Harry and Meghan ilk, and those two will definitely give them away.

Wedding magazines have to survive.  They are scared.  They might be the next in line for the guillotine, because advertising revenue has moved to the new neighbourhood: the internet.  That’s why they carry expensive ads.

Wedding magazines are not the only platform that dilutes reality and unrealistic expectations generated by money.  Cultures all over the world turn a love story into a financial story.  Two people are in love.  They decide to hook-up.  Parents draw up a list of gifts they want from the groom’s side or bride’s side, depending on the culture.
A Hindu wedding in Winnipeg, Canada.

Some of these lists are so expensive, it’s enough for the potential groom to say, ‘I don’t’.  In most cultures, gifts symbolized something.  Time went by and those symbols came with a prize tag. 

For example, among ama-Zulu, grass mats (amacansi), were gifts for a reason so profound, there is no space in this piece to adequately explain what they symbolize.  Nowadays, it is expensive blankets from the store.  Nigerian directors continue to make movies about two weddings, the introduction ceremony and white wedding and they both come with a set of store-bought gifts.

Animals - cattle and goats - provide food for the wedding.  They used to belong to the family, had names, were looked after by young boys and were known to ancestors because they had a history.  Nowadays, they are bought from outside, from businesses that might laugh at the culture but make money from it. 

It’s not only wedding magazines, cultures all over the world have stories to tell about how gifts, a good intention turned into a nightmare, forcing some grooms to say: ‘I don’t.’
By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

Nonqaba waka Msimang is the author of Sweetness, the novel.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more