Bed Bugs Group of Companies

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Bed bugs are illiterate, but they are business savvy. 

They have effective strategies not taught at the Goethe Business School Frankfurt, Wits Business School Johannesburg or London Business School, Dubai campus.

1. Bed bugs don’t have competitors. There’s no demand for human blood, so there are no start-ups to put them out of business. We can’t count the Red Cross and other Blood Transfusion Services because they want only one pint. Bed bugs take a gallon.

2. Bed bugs do not declare profits. They are a secret society like drug cartels, diamond merchants in London England and cult societies like the police.

3. Bed bugs work 24/7, day and night. Yes during the day too, because we haven’t made our beds or changed sheets since the pandemic invasion last year.

4. Bed bugs don’t diversify. They have no intention of branching out to include human hair.

5. Bed bugs don’t keep armies of corporate lawyers because their business is legit.

6. Bed bugs don’t pay taxes because their business is not registered with the province/state.

7. Bed bugs are tech savvy. They’ve been online since day one. O.K. make it ‘on-body’, since the beginning of time.

8. Bed bugs do not rely on infrastructure because everything they need is on the human body. They don’t worry about power cuts, WIFI moods or potholes at the corner of Main and Burton.

9. Bed bugs have no loans to pay because they don’t borrow money to build office blocks like the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, UAE.  They have a tall structure already, the human body.

10. Bed bugs don’t have transport costs because humans don’t bathe before flying, so they take them to taxis, the plane, hotel and another country.

This is another ‘written podcast’ by Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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