Nonqaba said ...

I don’t know about you, but I never drive in foreign cities.   City driving in both Johannesburg and Durban is not recommended.   You will however enjoy long distance driving on the major highways and remember that South Africans drive on the right hand side.   Please note that rental cars are manual/stick shift and not automatic transmission.   Sweetness the novel concentrates on two provinces:   Gauteng and KwaZulu-Natal (KZN).   If you want to see Sweetness country, you will therefore either touch down at O.R. Tambo International Airport in Johannesburg or Durban International Airport in KZN.   From Johannesburg to Durban ·         Distance approximately 557 km ·         Leave Johannesburg early you don’t want to be caught in the afternoon rush hour ·         Call the hotel in Durban for the nearest highway exit ·         Keep hotel telephone in your pocket or programmed in your cell-phone/mobile ·         Keep money in the glove compartment for toll gate fees

blank page oops!  having the notorious writer's block.

1.       Help me avoid checking stats to my website every day for two hours. 2.       Help me avoid spending two hours trying to understand internet language.   It took me a long time to understand www.somethingsomething.com 3.       Help me use that time to write some content somebody will be kind enough to read one day. 4.       Help me accept that nobody visited my website today. 5.       Help me understand that Google Analytics is not faulty.   It’s just that nobody dropped by for tea for a whole week. 6.       Help me understand that a visit to my site does not mean a sale.   Just browsing! 7.       Help me appreciate anyone who stays in my site and blog for more than three minutes. 8.       Help me come up with creative ideas for my site and blog.   Nobody is forced to be a lifetime member. 9.       Help me appreciate people who blog every day without any typos. 10.    Help me not to close my eyes during this prayer.   I might miss a book sale. ©N

Photo: Nonqaba waka Msimang Figures are not in yet but restaurants are losing a fortune because y’all take computers to restaurants, order a cup of coffee and sit there for hours.   In fact, restaurants should post signs at the door.   Why not?   There are all kinds of exclusionary signs in shopping malls and restaurants.   “Shoes must be worn at all times.” “No pets allowed.” “This is a smoke-free establishment.” “Don’t blow vuvuzela in this mall” “Management reserves the right of entry.” What I would like to see is, “No laptop computers allowed in this restaurant.”    I run away from my computer on a daily basis using all kinds of excuses.   I need some fresh air.   I must go to my mailbox to collect traffic violations.   I must go to the bank to ask them about why there’s no money in my account when I thought I had R150 left.   I need cranberry juice and bread.   I therefore do not understand why we must wait outside in the sun for 30 minutes for a table, becau

You know all about South African animals called the Big Five, but you don’t know what they are called in Zulu. ENGLISH ZULU Rhinoceros ubhejane Elephant indlovu Lion ibhubesi Buffalo inyathi Leopard ingwe   Sweetness the novel.   www.dorrancebookstore.com

·         Ask the taxi or cab driver to take you to Maye Maye ·         Make sure he knows where the place is, he will take the Anderson Street off-ramp ·         The stalls are very small and do not take more than 2 people ·         Most items have a historical meaning so ask questions ·         Walk around the corridors and admire shoes made from tyres ·         Beadwork especially necklaces is exquisite and cheaper than the airport ·         Beadwork also includes little brooms you can hang in your study or living room ·         Definitely buy amacansi (grass mats) that you will use at your next cook-out or cricket match ·         Buy two little shields that would look great in your study/den ·         Buy two little beaded sticks with a round head to brighten up your kitchen ·         Buy 2 amavovo (strainers used to make African beer) ·         Ask questions about the dried plants or herbs on sale ·         Buy umblazelwa (khakhi pants wi

Sweetness, my novel about twins set in South Africa. You cannot judge a book by its cover, but I sometimes buy books because of covers. Take Tony Morrison’s book A Mercy for example.   I just had to buy it because of the shoes on the cover.   These are sturdy lace-up shoes which might have been comfortable if they were not so big for the little feet inside. That shoe designer could have designed indoor shoes for the television series Sex in the City if he had lived in these high-rise times.   No.   He would have made shoes for Sex in the City the movie, which I understand will have a dozen sequels. I don’t mean indoor as in morning slippers.   Indoor shoes for the simple reason that they can only be worn in television studios, modelling shoots, cocktail parties, Cannes or film premieres.   Oprah, as in Winfrey takes hers to her chair in the studio.   Double stiletto shoes should be like cigarettes and come with the surgeon general’s warning.   “These shoes are injurious to your

It was quite rude actually.   We were at the post office, when someone’s phone went Ti-ti-ting ting, Ti-ti-ting ting, Ti-ti-ting ting, ti.   The four people in the queue turned to see where the default ring was coming from.   I could read the question in their faces.   What kind of phone does she have because the internet is littered with free ring tones?   Music fans even use their favourite tracks as ring tones.   The latest phones come with their own unique default rings. I ’m ashamed to say that I am also a cellphone snob because I was also surprised to hear Ti-ti-ting ting .   Apparently the kind of cell-phone you carry matters.   It’s like your set of wheels.   Who cares that you live in someone’s garage?   It’s the car that matters when you go to a gathering where there are friends and enemies.   A friend of mine wants me to get the phone that has free e-mail, internet and text messages, not for show-off but good common sense.   I’m thinking about it because most pe

My friend Faz will be happy to know that I bought some fish and chips on Monday 11 October 2010.   It is a historic date because I was down in the dumps for a variety of reasons.   My database was corrupted and l lost all September files and some for the first week of October.   I spend the early part of the day on-line trying to figure out how it happened.   There was so much technical information my mind got corrupted from not being able to find a reason or a solution. I got into the car and drove to the laboratory to develop some film.   I had no way of knowing that drivers were on the ‘drive Nonqaba off the road’ campaign.   It was too much.   I bought some fish and chips.   I cannot afford to go to a health spa for a massage, so I decided on a fry-up.   Faz will be happy because she doesn’t like Sweetness Food, which is part of the Sweetness website I developed for my book Sweetness.   She doesn’t like the idea of using low fat margarine for all the recipes.   She loves but

We have to speak up.   There are so many blogs and websites dedicated to us books, but we are not respected at all.   We want to air our feelings now, when we still have time.   E-books, Amazon Kindle, the i-Pad and other enemies are at the door, forcing their way in with just one click. We are up held as paragons of virtue.   The present occupants of the White House insist that little Malia and Sasha should read more books and get less television.   Many parents also subscribe to that upbringing, but where do they keep their precious books?   The state of books in homes is quite appalling. We are stored on top of each other in book shelves because owners of the house don’t have any problem with buying a microwave oven that cost four digits, but would not buy an extra shelf for $30 to accommodate new books.   It is less traumatic for new books, but the books under the new books are damaged.   The book spine becomes spineless from all that weight. Book shelves are for books but

  “I think we should take this to the next level.” “How?” “Let’s live together.” “You want me to move in with you?” “I was thinking of your place.” “And your apartment?   Why can’t we move in there?” “You know!!!” MOVING IN CONTRACT 1.       Keep your apartment I’ll keep mine. 2.       Find a place big enough for both of us. 3.       I’ll go back to my place when my parents are in town. 4.       Go to yours when your kids are here for the summer. 5.       We leave pets in our respective apartments. 6.       Don’t blow up my phone with ‘ where are u’? ’ 7.       I don’t like curfews.   I won’t come home before you. 8.       You’ll find your clothes on the floor where you left them. 9.       I don’t do singing in the rain without umbrellas. ‘ sure I trust you.’ 10.    I don’t do laundry and grocery shopping. 11.    I don’t baby-sit the fridge or do dishes. 12.    I don’t do bathroom maintenance, buying toilet paper, soap etc. 13.   

Ma was an expert in sign language.   I lowered my eyes when I found her waiting for me with her hands on her hips.   I would re-do the pots I had just scrubbed if she looked at them then looked at me.   I would hug her when she looked at me with eyes coated with honey for no particular reason. Michelle Obama, U.S. First Lady brought her hands together in greeting in one of the many functions she graces as part of her work.   That was reminiscent of the actor Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, the unofficial international ambassador of her country India.   She humbly brings her hands together to Namaste people at home and abroad.   Michelle Obama has visited India and interacts with Americans of Indian descent. Nobody knows the importance of hands in human interaction like the deaf community but I’m sure every culture has ways of conveying messages without the shouting and yelling.   Sometimes someone pulls out a gun or slaps somebody because they cannot ‘out-yell’ them. Two hands together r