Immigrant Guilt

Canada is a land of milk and honey. Is it?

Stella Guan, born in China but based in the U.S. ushered in the new year with a post about immigrant guilt.

Yesterday’s immigrants and today’s immigrants know the feeling. Happy to be here in Canada, U.S., U.K., Germany, Australia, South Africa or Sweden, but guilty about leaving and the hidden intention of never going back. A co-worker once said she could never return to her country, because there were few tarred roads. I found that strange.

Stella Guan’s piece explains how the guilt is tied up with loved ones we left behind, but who gave their blessing when we left. I was lucky my mother passed when I was back in Africa. I stayed long enough to erect her tombstone, which is a big deal where I come from.

A friend was not that lucky. Her daughter died and she couldn’t travel back for the funeral. Years later, she returned to her original country but got a cold reception from her relatives. How could you say you did not have money to come and bury your own daughter, when you lived in Canada?

Some immigrants do go back to where they were born, only to be rejected like her. We go back because we think that time stood still and that what was important then, still is. Wrong assumption.

What hurts most, is the family you felt guilty about when you were in Ontario Canada or Georgia U.S. You find them with different values. How could you say you can't afford a car, when you lived abroad all those years?

Stella Guan’s piece is more comprehensive than this blog. It’s published on Medium.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.