Ban Fiction

Publishers will be outraged, but fiction must be banned. Why? It doesn’t exist. It is a real life narrative with a lot of make-up: skin colour friendly foundation, a blush here mascara there, eye brow redesign, eye shadow and of course the book cover. Lipstick.

Fiction doesn’t exist because publishers are kind enough to tell us that the author was a reporter in Afghanistan or Soviet Union. They figure this will convince readers, they are buying an authentic book, real fiction based on real life. Does it make sense?

Fiction doesn’t exist because when authors are tired of their own countries, they suggest book plots set abroad. Publishers relish the idea of books set in ‘exotic’ places. Authors then jet off to do background research in countries where the sun is a given and waves on the shore deliver frightening secrets.

Truth is stranger than fiction. Now, is that a proverb or a Hollywood line? It’s a pertinent question because movies are so powerful, they determine culture, like the line ‘will you marry me?’ It must be asked in a public setting, where the audience will record it and send it to Instagram.

Fiction doesn’t exist because book editors sometimes end up being novelists. They think after editing all that bad fiction, they can write it better. Otherwise, why do publishers tell us that the author was a book editor at Pliz Publishers for X number years?

Fiction must be banned because I’ll lose it if I come across another book about a writer, her manuscript, the publisher on her neck about the progress of ‘the work in progress’ her divorce and her son, a top of the range hacker.

Is this fiction?

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.