Tweaking Friendship Budgets

Meghan Markle and Canadian friend, Jessica Mulroney. Online pic.

The pandemic is a wake-up call for what we think is essential: vacation, hobbies, luxury goods, online shopping and friends.

Especially friends. Friendship is joined at the hip with employment or some form of income such as having an active business. The pandemic reminds us that none is guaranteed. We are laid off and some businesses are dormant with no hope of ever standing straight again.

The end result is brutal: no money no friends. That’s why  some married women hold on to bad marriages. Divorce is not an option because it means reduced income, and reduced participation in community activities that need money.

Friends can be a circle of three or more. Some members desperately need the friendship. Others are free born, and can easily float to another circle.

Before the pandemic, desperate friends used their credit cards for entertainment more than other members. They volunteered their cars for short or long distance trips. They bought clothes way beyond their budget or taste. They even sent their kids to the ‘right’ schools, in order to be accepted by the circle.

Money and friends. Very few friendships survive without money.  There are signs but we ignore them. No response to text messages or phone calls. No invitation to public holiday festivities, let alone coffee dates.

The pandemic is saying the future is uncertain, so is friendship. Therefore, it’s time to tweak costly, but emotionally draining friendships.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.