When You Retire

 

I’m going to retire and spend more time with my family.

That sentiment is quite common, but the reality is that there’s no family to retire for, for a variety of reasons.

1. Kids are all grown up and have jobs or businesses.

2. Younger kids are in college out of town.

3. Spouses, usually wives, might be deeply involved in interests outside the home.

SCENARIO: Bob was a successful surgeon. Babs, his wife, a housewife. She brought up the three kids driving them all over the place and cheering them at every school event.

They became teenagers and drifted away, lost online in various sites and chat rooms. They got irritated when she asked questions. A friend introduced Babs to women’s groups fighting for social justice. She has never looked back.

Then Bob retired. Babs complained to her friends that she didn’t know what to do with him. Bob didn’t know what to do with himself, but Babs felt she was the wronged one. Bob never cared about the home front and problems she had as a single mother, in a two-parent home. Now that he’s retired, she has a 65 year-old child on her hands.

There are thousands of stories about retirement gone wrong. I suppose there are online forums where men share experiences, but the bottom line is: retirement starts with when you say “I do”.

Some housewives are lonely because they are treated like a nuisance. They ask questions we regard as basic, but they don’t have answers because they’re not participants in the hub of life.

However, shutting out your wife completely during your working life is digging your own grave, because she will be the only one left at home when you retire. What if she is not welcoming?

This is another ‘written podcast’ from Nonqaba waka Msimang.