Canada Cold Eh?
This post was prompted by the 2019 NBA playoffs and related basketball commentary. One of them was that American players don’t want to shoot hoops in the Toronto Raptors’ jersey because it is cold up north.
Visitors to provinces like Ontario, tend to give Canada a bad rap. They think it’s cold because they see locals wearing dress boots and leather gloves around Christmas and all the way to February.
Dress boots? Yes maa’m! For a long time, I thought boots were boots, until I landed in Canada, in a province called Manitoba to be precise. Now we are talking very cold. Visitors cannot scream cold if they’ve never tasted provinces like this one.
You see, dress boots are photo-shoot boots, pretty leather things to go with designer jeans or long skirts. They are not for the cold because it penetrates the boots and freezes your toes. Try wiggling them? No, won’t do, because they are in prison, arrested by the leather.
That is why most women don’t do dress boots and leather gloves around here. They are for show, part of the dress code for ladies that shop and dine in Bloor Street West in Toronto.
These two items are also poor athletes because they do not accommodate the triple jump. Yes sir! People in Toronto tend to check friends and family every time they see a -28 degrees situation.
How are you managing?
Just fine. There is absolutely nothing to be alarmed about.
They get concerned because they don’t know the triple jump i.e. layers of clothing to protect your outer self (head and hands) and your inner self, which we will not call by name. That’s right. That is why we buy extra large winter pants to accommodate two or more leggings or long Johns.
T-shirts we wear during the summer become vests, followed by long sleeved T-shirts, followed by sweaters with a cowl neck and finally, parkas or hooded jackets with a little veranda to hide the head alone. I double Dutch gloves, woollen gloves first, then sheep skin mittens.
The biggest challenge is putting on winter boots. The feet are already laden with ordinary socks plus special socks for boots, so lacing up the boots is an Olympic sport. Blowing snow is a killer though. Manitoba province is flat as pizza base, so the snow blows everything in sight, very dangerous if I might add.
This is just one province so we cannot condemn the whole country as being cold now, can we? What about Yellowknife, in the Northwest Territories? Hmmm! Now that’s another story.
By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.
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