Getting Drunk Responsibly

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Drink but don’t get drunk.

December is around the corner and liquor stores have taken ads all over the place to tell us to drink responsibly, meaning drink but don’t get drunk.
Very confusing.  They will be out of business if we drank responsibly.  We will drink one shot of rum/whisky, one bottle of beer, a finger of tequila, gin or vodka and one small glass of wine. 

Bars will be out of business.  Bartenders will be out of a job and Hollywood will stop making movies about ‘last call’, a call to have that one last drink to confirm that you are drunk enough to get into your car and drive home.
Hollywood especially, because it made champagne glamorous.  We see beautiful actors celebrating good news with champagne and clicking glasses.  A toast!  That is a Hollywood invention that is now touted as global urban culture.

Another favourite movie line is telling the barman that you want a martini: ‘Shaken, not stirred.’ It started with some movie somewhere and got recycled, like all Hollywood scripts.  First of all, I could do some research about this drink called a martini, then delve into the advantages of it being shaken, not stirred but I don’t have the time.
Drink responsibly.  The very act of drinking is not responsible.  Reasons are as many as pebbles on the beach.  I just want to wind down after a stressful day at work.  I want to put up my feet and relax.  I went out with some colleagues to have some fun.  I’m drinking to build some courage to tell him a piece of my mind.  It’s our anniversary and we invited friends over for a drink.

Drinking is temporary, a temporary irresponsible act to mask a little or lingering problem that cannot be fixed by drinking green tea or sorrel.  It is regressive because of hang-overs, which have nothing to do with throbbing headaches.  A hang-over is the reality that the problem is still hanging around your neck after drinking responsibly or otherwise.
Drinking is drinking period.  We know it.  The barman knows it so do liquor stores, so the addendum responsibly is a contradiction.  

By:  Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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