Selfie For Myself

I need a bank loan to take a ‘selfie’ of myself.  I just can’t wake up in the morning and click a selfish photo because the world will go blind.  You really don’t want to know what I look like.  Come to think of it, I don’t want to see the real you without any make-up, either.

A ‘selfie’, (selfish photo) is like movie production.  You need money to make a movie, so you approach investors or banks.  This will help you pay the right actors, camera and lighting, costumes, and of course hair and make-up.

Hair and make-up artists are not given the respect they deserve, despite contributing so much to mankind and womankind.  They re-construct people.  They make the unlikable, likable, something similar to Facebook or Google +.  I want to be liked too, that’s why I want my bank manager to give me some cash.

I will be taking a selfish photo so the make-up artist must concentrate on certain areas.  The lips are the first bus stop.  Almost everybody seems to be pouting in ‘selfies’.  I already have beautiful full lips from my people, but I will ask the make-up artist to give them a gloss or something, so that I can do a pout that will go viral for the next ten years.

Eyes are the next bus stop.  People look up when they take selfish photos.  Why?  Because the mobile phone is up there to get a good angle.  The make-up artist will fix my eyes with kohl so that they can stand out.  Bham!

Lights, camera, action, selfie!