Nonqaba said ...

I need a bank loan to take a ‘selfie’ of myself.   I just can’t wake up in the morning and click a selfish photo because the world will go blind.   You really don’t want to know what I look like.   Come to think of it, I don’t want to see the real you without any make-up, either. A ‘selfie’, (selfish photo) is like movie production.   You need money to make a movie, so you approach investors or banks.   This will help you pay the right actors, camera and lighting, costumes, and of course hair and make-up. Hair and make-up artists are not given the respect they deserve, despite contributing so much to mankind and womankind.   They re-construct people.   They make the unlikable, likable, something similar to Facebook or Google +.   I want to be liked too, that’s why I want my bank manager to give me some cash. I will be taking a selfish photo so the make-up artist must concentrate on certain areas.   The lips are the first bus stop.   Almost everybody seems to be pouting in ‘selfi

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Gendarmerie_nationale This writing thing is not happening for me at all, so I have joined the mobile phone police.   From this day onwards, we (mobile phone police) have injected your phone with a virus, without your permission of course, that will block certain messages that might lead to suicide, murder or shame to someone's family. We think that face-to-face communication is still the best option to deliver the following messages.   You can invite a third person for protection or as a witness, if you fear that telling somebody something might lead to injury. 1.        You are fat. 2.        I love you. 3.        Will you marry me? 4.        The wedding is off. 5.        You are fired. 6.        I am no longer into you. 7.        Remove your stuff from my apartment before the end of the day. 8.        I divorce you this minute. 9.        Dad, I crashed the car. 10.    You are not the father of my baby.