Hotel Cellphone Deposit for Parents

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In Europe and north America parents load kids in the car and go on vacation. Checking in hotels can be a nightmare, but can you imagine the receptionist or front desk asking you to declare your phone?

YOU: Excuse me?  Declare my phone?

HOTEL: Yes Maam.  Any cellphone to declare?

YOU: You must be kidding me?  Declare?  Like the airport?  Do you have anything to declare?

HOTEL: Yes Maam.  I can see that you are checking into the hotel with kids.

YOU:  This is crazy.  I’m tired and hungry, so I’ll go along with your stupid joke.  Yes.  I have a cellphone to declare.

HOTEL: Thank you Maam.  Please sign here.

YOU:  A thousand dollars deposit?

HOTEL:  It is refundable.  This is to protect the hotel if your child throws something down the toilet and creates a plumbing problem while you are on your phone, or she wanders about the hotel, gets lost but is not found, while you are on FB, Twitter and other anonymous networking sites.

YOU:  Social networking, not anonymous you fool!

HOTEL:  Can I swipe your card for the $1,000 Maam?

YOU:  Hell! No!  We’ll find another hotel.

You grab your kids who are already on the floor hollering and demanding to go to the washroom, to the swimming pool, give teddy bear his bath or all of the above, until someone taps you on the shoulder.

THE TAPPER:  You better sign.  It’s standard in all hotels now, to ensure that we switch off the phone and give the kids all our attention while we are on vacation.

Aaah!  Aaah!  Which hotel has such a policy?  Go figure.

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