Nonqaba said ...

Photo:  Nonqaba waka Msimang Mobile phones and raising babies.   Social networking has made it possible for us to have families at home and families in virtual space. Sometimes people we live with feel lonely because we are busy making love to our mobile phones, talking to friends and followers. My favourite is a woman I usually see when I am delayed in town, and catch the 6.30 p.m. bus.   One kid is in a stroller/pram, another one is about three or four.   The boy crouches on the seat and stares at whoever is seating behind them.   One man got so irritated, he told the boy to turn around and sit properly.   The little boy really stares hard.   The mother doesn’t notice a thing because she is on her mobile phone, from when she gets on the bus and eight stops later, when I get out. A classic is what I saw on a bus in Toronto.   Little boy and the mum got on the bus.   He was in his pyjamas.   Mum was massaging her phone and the little boy wanted to say something.   She gav

Pyjamas/pajamas have gone street.   You now see people on the bus, the mall, or at the burger joint, in their P.J.’s.  Some kids go to school in them. Most dictionaries define P.J.’s as: ‘A suit of loose pants and jacket or shirt for sleeping in.’ Not anymore.   P.J.’s have taken casual dressing to another level.   Mama won’t approve because she believed in three things: have a bath every day, wear clean underwear in case you are hit by a bus, and dress for the occasion.   Mama was a great cook.   She had more dinner plates than any art museum.   She even had casserole dishes that went from the oven to the table.   That is what P.J’s are doing.   They go from the bed to the street.   It is a free world, but not when I’m meeting you for lunch.   The great Gucci or Tom Ford P.J.’s tell me that someone jumped the gun, or should we say jumped the shower, the toothbrush and other things we do every morning to meet the world. Our lunch date cannot go down nicely if I have all the

Wedding vows are outdated.   To love, honour, and not cheat on your spouse online, should be the new script.   This hit me when I re-visited my profile.   Google, in its wisdom, has four boxes that I must tick.   I think they are friends, dating, relationship or networking. Hawu !   Dating and relationship!   How do I date faceless people to the extent that we have a solid relationship?   Remember most of my followers are eggs.   Very shy people, you know. Yes.   I’m a little bit slow in the head, so I’m not aware that Google is right on the money.   They know that things happen.   Online strangers ‘upgrade’ themselves (to quote Beyonce) to darling, honey, ‘baby’ or ‘boo’ in a flash.   They get married and live happily ever after. Now, let’s get real.   There is an untold story about people who feel cheated by all these online games.   ME:   I think I need some space. HIM :   Why?   I thought we agreed to give this relationship another shot. ME:   It’s not possible.

I’m offering a 2016 summer camp for patients who do not know how to talk to other people. We don’t talk to each other anymore because of mobile phones.   Our fingers now do the talking, as a result, many of us have been diagnosed with the alcoholics’ anonymous syndrome.   Press ALT+Delete.   I mean mobile phone addiction and it is not anonymous because you see it in action at home, work, bus, subway, bank, everywhere.   Grown up boys and girls massaging their phones: 1.        Before an important regional sales meeting. 2.        During a fashion show in Milan. 3.        Waiting for the gates to open for their morning shift. 4.        Waiting for the train. 5.        In restaurants and big tables in particular. 6.        Waiting for partner to finish taking a bath before making love. 7.        Checking your phone after making love. 8.        Taking phone to the toilet for some quality time with people who don’t live with you. 9.        Bride or groom