Beauty and the Butt



Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  The equation becomes messed up if the beholder is me, as in me, myself I.  No problem.  If I have money, I can fix ‘mistakes’ my parents made when I was born.
People add and subtract things from their bodies to make themselves beautiful.  Trim a nose, add some breasts, iron my wrinkles if I’m over 40, elongate eyes, enlarge lips, buy hair or eyes the colour of the rainbow and even a new butt.
I wanted to write a piece about butt enhancement.  I didn’t know that was stale news.  I didn’t get the memo about the new term on the block: buttock augmentation.
I got it.  Butt augmentation it shall be.  The problem with flying to Beverley Hills to get a new butt is fashion cycles.  What happens when it is no longer in fashion?  Do you take the next flight to remove the augmentation?
Beautiful is a dangerous word because it is unattainable.  Just watch those old National Geographic underwater videos.  There are all kinds of different fish.  They are a fashion designer’s dream because of the different colours that complement each other.
How about the birds in your neighbourhood park?  Aren’t they beautiful although they are not the same?  Children in rural Africa, Asia and South America are even more fortunate because they know the birds’ names, when they mate and lay eggs and idioms inspired by their high flying lives.
Some birds have small butts.  Others are more blessed.  Just live with what you got.  You are already beautiful.
SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING:  Adding and subtracting things to your body is injurious to health, should there be fire in your building.

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