Professors' Lament


'Save us from Google.’


We dread winter in North America because of howling winds, snow, slush, icy pavements, texting and driving, people texting while riding bicycles on pavements and drivers’ distraction while fighting with loved ones in the front seat.

College professors dread the fall for one good reason: Google professors. New brooms sweep well so, freshly-minted students who grew up a few blocks from the university and those from other corners of the world descend upon lecture halls, exposing rude knees that wink from ripped jeans, hairstyles that rise to the occasion on top but shaved at the sides and the display of social media status symbols: 100 000 followers or more.

Professors and students are not on the same page. Teaching staff think parents pay $40 000 annually (more for foreign students) so that kids can benefit from knowledge they impart in lecture halls and tutor-student meetings. Meanwhile, most students feel that they already know what time it is because of Google and cohorts.

Professors ignore the din and go about their business, giving lectures and assigning assignments. It’s not easy, not with the ever-present Twitter alert, latest figures nullifying what the professor just said.

‘But Prof …..’

Disdain for Teaching Staff
Professors don’t mind the interruption. They take it in stride. Debate is good, one of the reasons why students are in college. Debating skills will come in handy in future when they are ministers in Her Majesty’s government, debating Brexit.

The British voted to leave the European Union (EU). Have they changed their mind? Turmoil among the front and backbenchers in London.

Students don’t have that luxury. They cannot afford to change their mind about professors they don’t like or think they know zilch. Not when parents, student loans or scholarships pay tuition fees.

‘But Prof ……’

That is their only option, irritating teaching staff and other students about how clued up they are on social media.  Hey! The professor doesn’t even speak Googla, the social media language. But professors have the last word.

‘Interesting point Bizos. Flesh that out in your paper, which is due next week and no emojis.’

Professors know how hard students convince their parents that a degree from such and such a university is the road to plum jobs at home and abroad.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.


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