Mothers Laughing at Daughters

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Daughters think they are wiser than their mothers, especially when they start earning some dollars or euros, but a child on top of the iroko tree, cannot see what an elder sees sitting down, to quote a Yoruba idiom. Yoruba is one of the Nigerian languages.

It would be fun to attend an international conference of mothers having the last laugh, because believe it or not, daughters do end up being like their mothers.  The conference would have breakaway sessions where mothers give testimony to this fact.

TESTIMONY 1:  It was a buffet dinner, so I helped myself to what was on the table.  My daughter said: ‘Mum, are you going to finish all that?  If you don’t, it will end up in the waste bin while people in other parts of the world are starving.’

TESTIMONY 2:  My daughter’s handbag was rather heavy, so I asked her if she kept her gym dumbbells in there.  ‘Coins mom.  They are also money, so I keep them in case I need them.’ My daughter is the brand ambassador for anything digital.  She even buys her expresso with a bank card.  Where could she possibly use the coins, and where does she get them since she seldom uses cash?

TESTIMONY 3:  My daughter has three daughters.  The eldest reported her to me.  ‘Grandma I’m 17 and she doesn’t want me to date.’  When we met to talk about it, my daughter listed all the dangerous things that happen to girls online and offline.  ‘You got pregnant with her at 16,’ I reminded her. My daughter was livid and told me that she was hoping for support, not betrayal.

TESTIMONY 4:  One day my daughter dropped by while I was packing for a weekend trip with my seniors’ group.  ‘Did you pack enough underwear mum?  You might faint and be sent to the hospital.  That is why you must have clean underwear at all times.’

TESTIMONY 5:  My daughter has all kinds of bags in her attic.  There are more bags every time I visit.  She doesn’t give away clothes because she hopes to revert to her teen size, which was size 2.  Who does she think she is, Celine Dion, the Canadian entertainer?  She used to urge me to give my clothes away, to make some room in the basement.  I kept them for what I thought was a good reason i.e. they will come back in fashion.

What could be the common theme from such an extraordinary conference?  Mothers would crack up and say daughters always claim: “I’m not like my mother.”

By:  Nonqaba waka Msimang.

Author:  Sweetness, a South African novel.

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