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Showing posts from February, 2019

Promise in Zulu

Promise is the-mbi-sa in Zulu.

Trump’s Berlin style wall is a great hit among Republicans that voted for him because it was a campaign promise.Therefore, his supporters believe that there is absolutely nothing to be alarmed about.The man promised.The man wants to deliver that promise.We will say in Zulu: Wa-thembi-sa (he promised). In Canada, Justin Trudeau promised to legalize pot/weed/cannabis.His party won the election and he has delivered on this promise.Now there are weed shops in strip malls.
The-mbi-sa.You say the first part like teller, the second like umbilical cord and the third part like salamander.

ZULU ENGLISH The-mbi-si-le. A girl’s name which means the one who was promised. (Thembi is the short version). Ba-the-mbi-si-le. A girl’s name which means many people promised. Ngi-ya-the-mbi-sa ngi-zo-ku-sha-da. I promise I will marry you. U-Selina u-ya-the-mbi-sa u-ku-bhe-ka i-nga-ne. Selina promises to babysit. Ba-ya-the-mbi-sa u-ku-thi ba-zo-fika. They promise they will come. Ngi-the-mb…

Home in Zulu

Home sweet home.

Home is kha-ya in Zulu.
Marriage in ancient Kwa-Zulu was not instant as in Instagram.Boy met girl.Girl said get lost, did I say I’m tired of living in my father’s house? Boy persisted, even asked her sisters to intervene.
When girl finally said yes, parents moved in and started wedding preparations which will see the girl leaving her father’s house for her new home, her husband’s home.

However, the love game has gone digital with people meeting on Face, direct messaging and chat rooms.Some chat up South African women because they want to live there or American men because they want the Green Card.Others are murderers and lure their prey to dubious rendezvous and get away with it because nobody knows their homes. Kha-ya.The first part is pronounced like car the second like yam.
ZULU ENGLISH Khaya. A boy’s name meaning home.Parents might have moved into their own house after living with in-laws or renting.Maybe the child was born when a family member returned home after livi…

Living Alone With Others

Living alone with others (LAWO).


There is no solution to living alone with others, despite what psychologists and other experts say.Millions of people share a roof with others but live alone because there is no interest in each other, which leads to less communication, the occasional good morning and finally dead silence. People in the LAWO reality somehow feel ashamed as if they are personally responsible, so they mask LAWO with anecdotes of wonderful partners, kids or grandchildren and whip out cellphones, the great show and tell.

Growing kids rule out any possibility of LAWO because watching them grow prompts conversation, some form of interaction: how they look like a great grandparent; their intelligence (at 2 years); their hurry to become adults; advice to parents and mapping strategies about blending being born in Canada and raised with values from somewhere else. We shall rule out teenagers for now because they are already LAWO in the basement of their parents’ home or in their r…

The Moon and Computer Updates

Thank god Microsoft cannot update the sun and moon.

Most kids are brought up not to say bad words, unless they are normal conversation at home 24/7 and parents say sh---this, sh--- that.But from time to time, parents slip and use a bad word.
Daddy that’s a bad word.” “Sorry honey, it’s these updates.”

Daddy’s frustration comes from lost but not found.Something is bound to be lost during updates.Where’s the dictionary and thesaurus?Where is autosave?Microsoft, in its Gates-full wisdom tells me to upload the file first. And what happened to caps at the beginning of a sentence? Why fix it if it’s not broken? Break it to justify updates. Daddy is livid because maybe like me, he uses a Microsoft product to write and use pics on blogs.He has photo files organised chronologically into 2017, 2018 and 2019 or by subject matter.

My files disappeared from the desk top and I must retrieve them from somewhere.The sun and moon should thank its lucky stars that Microsoft and company cannot ‘update’ them…

E-Mail is Still King

Don’t give up on e-mail.

It is still an important business tool, despite Twitter’s direct messages, texting or calling somebody. You can give more details and include attachments in an email. It is therefore frustrating when business people don’t respond to your email and you know they received it because it goes straight to their phone.The reality is that some people delete e-mail without reading because of the volume.There are too many messages from voracious advertisers and strangers.
The trick is to grab the attention of the person you have never met.How? Your subject should be clear and as concise as possible.You sent an email to someone who is on the plane from Vancouver to Toronto and will be there for a week.There are people in the office that can attend to your query.
She doesn’t have time to read the body of your email but, the subject matter is clearly defined, so she knows the right person to forward it to.

Subject Taxes 2018 T4 Subject Annual rent increase Subject School picnic Ma…

Internet An Act of Omission

An act of omission.

That is what the internet is. Google’s decision to seal Google+ and send it to the archives is proof of the omission that the internet is a market place, stock exchange or like massive open markets in Ghana and Nigeria, and not a friendship or social networking platform. Google+ is not making money: “……due to low usage and challenges involved in maintaining a successful product that meets consumers’ expectations.” Google’s statement about the shut down is not in plain English, but even people without Ph.D. degrees recognise, product and consumer.

These words are absent in social networking sites because the act of omission is intentional.Google and the fraternity sold the idea as friendship, a borderless pool of friends joined at the hip by common interests or no interests at all. Critical information is omitted to achieve a certain result.For example, we welcomed the idea of connecting with friends down the block, cousins in Tel Aviv or Belgrade, Columbia School of J…

My Mother Your Dad in Zulu

Parents in Zulu is a-ba-za-li.

We’ll divide today’s lesson into two.

·your mother and father
·other people’s mothers and fathers For example, we have a boy named Phila (which means live) and a girl Nomusa (which means the kind one).

·Phila will say, u-ma-ma wa-mi (my mother).
·Phila can also use the short version, u-Ma-wam. When Nomusa talks about Phila’s mother, she will say:

·U-ma-ma ka-Phila (Phila’s mother).
·She can use the short version, u-Ma-ka-Phila. FATHERS

·Phila will say, u-ba-ba wami (my father).
·Nomusa will say u-ba-ba wami (my father). But, when Phila talks about Nomusa’s dad, he will say u-ba-ba ka-Nomusa.

When Nomusa talks about Phila’s dad, she will say u-ba-ba ka-Phila. PRONUNCIATION

U-ba-ba wa-mi.You say the first part like ooze, the second and third like baba in European languages. Wa-mi, the first part is pronounced like Wally and the second lime meet. LESSON ACTIVITY
Have 2 or 4 people in the room.They must talk about their mothers and fathers and their friends’ mothers and fathe…

Immigrants and Jobs

There are no jobs.

Therefore, have a business idea before you get a visa to go to America, Canada or Europe.That should be the first advice for friends and relatives. It is the only way to achieve the better life you hope for when you leave your continent, because it is not business as usual.It is old news but still relevant, that Americans, Canadians and Europeans have been losing jobs for a while due to computerization, mechanisation and outsourcing customer service, which is why credit card queries can be answered by someone in Kolkata or Maseru.

What was known as ‘high street’ has TO LET signs because of the shift to covered shopping malls.There are fewer bank tellers because of the internet, the new banking mall.The whole industry of designing and printing graduation, congratulations on your baby girl or boy and other greeting cards is on its last legs because of Skype and cellphones.Radio and television stations now send one person to collect news when they used to be three. It is…

Cannabis Weed in Zulu

Honey don’t forget the weed!

Cannabis, marijuana, pot or whatever you call it is legal in Canada which means you can pick up the groceries, loaves of bread from the bakery and small parcels of weed located, in the same strip mall. Justin Trudeau, the current prime minister campaigned on making weed legal.He won and it is now an over the counter purchase.What is not recorded is the number of U.S and overseas visitors to Canada who had a good time in hotels, being happy, before the legalisation.

However, cannabis law in Canadian provinces differs, but the underlying intent is to keep it private. Don’t smoke or vape it in public.Do it behind closed doors. Weed is known as i-gu-du in southern Africa.This is a reference to the pipe that is used to smoke this piece of grass.Weed might be associated with young people fooling around in Canada and the U.S. but it was an old folks’ thing in Africa: old women, old men, traditional doctors and getting ready for war at the king’s palace, included smok…

The She Story

I write because:

·she bends over the city’s garbage bin on Broadway Avenue in Winnipeg.Daily.She looks up when she sees you and ask for change, then goes back to her mining.
·another she, reads books as she walks on the pavement, reading glasses and black sunshades on a string around her neck.Sometimes she reads with the sunshades.Her vivid red lips are Oscar perfect, as if she recently applied the lip stick for the red carpet.
·yet another she has three bags she lugs around every day while smoking.Her head is always bobbing sideways.There’s not a single grey in her brown hair.
·the fourth she, can be found only in the financial mall, wearing three heavy coats and four bags of plastic shopping bags with logos of drug stores and grocery stores.
·the last she might be me, if I stop writing.  By:Nonqaba waka Msimang.

Washington Paved With Platinum

The Distinguished Gentleman and the U.S. body politic.

The 2018 government shut-down which spilled over to 2019; preparation for the 2020 presidential election; and comments from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who represents New York’s 14th congressional district, prompted revisiting this movie. Hollywood gave The Distinguished Gentleman the comedy label but, director Jonathan Lynn shot scenes about real life voting; how politicians raise money for their campaigns; and the maze of rules and procedures that govern how Congress allocates money to do things the government is supposed to do.
Two con artists play political jump rope. Thomas Jefferson, Eddie Murphy’s character learnt the trade on Florida streets whereas Dick Dodge, Lane Smith’s character is a con artist working under the leafy shade of the U.S. Constitution and chairs a super rich committee on the Hill.

Jefferson “Jeff Johnson” is a rookie congressman who used a dead man’s identity to get elected, after his aunt related a story of ho…

Weathering Google and Yahoo

“What does next week look like, any blizzards?”

“Google it.” Ouch!I was just trying to make conversation.It is times like this that I wish I was some animal and live in a forest, where there is conversation 24/7, creatively divided into night and day sounds. Mama said eavesdropping is bad, but sometimes the ear mistakenly catches it.
Squirrels warn each other about loggers preparing to flatten trees to build a nuclear plant; snakes say I don’t give a damn, I’ll just worm my way into their backpacks; deer rush to a meeting on how to out fox the cunning leopard; elephants lap water at the river while devising plans of warding off attacks from arrogant lions.Can you imagine, lions trying to attack elephants, the obesity of height and infrastructure?

The city.Being born and raised in Philly, Rio or any other city has many disadvantages including the inability to listen to the wind.Women that fetch dead wood from forests to make fire have that skill. They sense danger through unusual animal mo…

Presence/Existence in Zulu

This is an interactive Zulu lesson.

-khona- is existence, something that is there, presence.The city sometimes cuts off the water supply to fix something or you might go to the stream and find it dry. A-kho-na a-ma-nzi? is there water?

A-we-kho.it’s not there. Akhonais a popular girl’s name which means the presence of something.When another girl is born, the family might call her Akhona, which means we have many daughters.It could be many reasons.
A-kho-na.You say the first part like Alice, the second like court, the third one like nice.
Interactive Lesson

Using -khona- in sentences might be a problem so we need 2 people in the kitchen, preparing a shopping list.One will ask questions.
ZULU ENGLISH Lukhona ubisi? Do we have milk? Alukho. (opens fridge) We don’t. Akhona amasi? Do we have yoghurt? Akhona. We have it. Ukhona utamatisi? Do we have tomatoes? Ukhona. We have tomatoes. Likhona ithanga? Do we have pumpkin? Likhona.