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Showing posts from October, 2018

Point in Zulu

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Point is kho-mba in Zulu. Movies.   How many movies have you seen where there is a line-up of possible murderers or gangsters and the witness fingers one?   Too many, made me leave Hollywood.   Scripts too predictable. Where was I?   Yes, kho-mba has some taboos in Zulu culture e.g. you don’t point a finger at elders. There is also a saying: u-zo-wu-kho-mba u-mu-zi o-no-tshwa-la , meaning you will speak the truth when I’m done with you.   That is the loose translation, I think. Brides in Nigerian movies are asked to give the bridegroom palm wine, the traditional drink.   That is her way of pointing him, confirming her choice.     T eacher :   5 + 5 =? Hands shoot up in Grade 1, so that the teacher can point at one of the eager, tender trusting minds for the answer. When people are lost, you help them by pointing the way, turn left here and right at the crossroads, but never say you’ll turn left where the dog is barking.   What if the dog is on sabbatical? When a king

Sick in Zulu

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Sick is gu-la in Zulu. It is the flu season right now and there’s a lot of blowing noses, coughing, mountain high sneezing and shivering.   We are sick in Canada because of the cold weather.   Si-ya-gu-la . That is natural, no problem.   You boil some home remedies or visit your doctor.   Other people are not so lucky.   They are sick from love.   The sickness usually comes from lack of reciprocity.   A loves B.   B is not interested because he loves someone online who lives in Bucharest. Someone who is not rational is also called sick.   Some people are so unhappy at home, they off-load their misery on workers.   U-ya-gu-la , she is sick.   Irrational politicians are also called sick. The sun can also make you sick.   Mama told us to sleep in the shade not the direct sun, because it is so powerful, we would get sick. Gu-la .   The first part is pronounced like good and the second part like luck. U-ya-gula .   The first part is pronounced like ooze, the second like yard

Canada and Oil Exploration

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No trespassing. The Federal Court of Appeal’s ruling on August 30, 2018 to delay Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s decision to expand the Trans Mountain pipeline, adds another tile to what we can call the ‘no trespassing on native land’ rulings. It is even misleading to use the term native because it came with European settlers who had one item on the agenda, free land or what they thought was free land.   Canadian courts consistently reaffirm that it is not.   Canada originally belonged to First Nations the same way India in Asia belongs to Indians, China to the Chinese, Africa to Africans and Europe to Europeans. Consultation The Federal Court of Appeal wrote: “There was no meaningful two-way dialogue.” Canadian courts consistently reaffirm land rights of indigenous people, which was not the case when British and French settlers, driven by biting poverty in Europe, initially grabbed the land through fraud and the bible. What is the bone of contention?   It is oil, expanding

Private Display Of Affection

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Public display of affection (PDA) is a misnomer. Private display of affection is the correct reference because of its origin, a space called home, or lovers’ grotto where two people relate in a certain way. The public tends to witness it because at some stage, hunger pangs force them to visit the food mart or leave home to catch some theatre at the London’s West End, Off-Broadway in New York or The Market Theatre in Johannesburg. What is mistakenly called PDA is the luxury of being adored, indoors . We won’t say being loved because love is a leaking Hollywood water carrier buttressed by candlelit dinners, red roses, Valentine’s Day and a car for her birthday.   This is now a headache and financial burden in Africa as kids and lovers demand birthday parties and expensive gifts, an influence of local sitcoms, Nigerian and Hollywood movies. Private display of affection is intense, painful, as two people follow each other around the four walls, chuckle, gaze into each other’s eye

Believe in Zulu

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To believe is kho-lwa in Zulu. Some people did not believe that Donald Trump will become president of the USA.   Democrats and Republicans are making all kinds of promises for the 2018 Midterm elections in November.   Will voters believe them? People believe in religion and their parents.   They also believe in runway models, movies stars, singers and ball players.   That is why they buy clothes, handbags, cough mixtures, pasta sauces and anything famous people advertise in magazines, television and online. As for me, I believe in the lowest price, as in 80% off before I fork out some dollars.   No, I’m not cheap.   I just believe in keeping the little cash I have close to my chest. Or is it in my purse? Teaching Zulu students how to say kho-lwa is going to be a challenge but we shall try.   You say the first part of the verb like cobweb, the second part like kohl, but add - wa as in want.   Somebody born in South Africa, Swaziland or Zimbabwe, will help you figure it o

Getting Lost in Zulu

GPS.   There was great excitement when GPS, which was a stand-alone device at the time, hit the market.   It promised that drivers would not get lost.   Just follow GPS.     Guess what?   Drivers still got lost. Du-ka , is losing your way in Zulu.   Ngi-du-ki-le .   I’m lost, something we overhear on the street, friends on their phones, warning friends who are waiting somewhere.   Boy says prove you love me by sending pics with no clothes on.   Girl does.   Boy presses the send button to the world.   It is leading astray, ba-ya-du-ki-sa-na. In the olden days in Africa getting lost was no problem.   You detoured to the next house and explained your situation. You were offered food and a place to sleep because visitors were treated like royalty.   That was humanity. Du-ka .   The first part is pronounced like do and the second one like Kalinga. Ba-du-ki-le . The first part is pronounced like Bali, but with a soft -b- , the second like do, the third like Kilimanjaro and the l

Book Review: The Fair Fight

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BOOK: The Fair Fight AUTHOR: Anna Freeman PUBLISHER:   Riverhead Books The Fair Fight is like a dartboard in an English pub where the dart lands where its heart pleases and not the preferred destination, the bull’s eye. Anna Freeman gave the dart to three characters: Ruth Downs, a professional boxer born in her mother’s brothel (called a convent in the book), George Bowden an aristocrat that lives on bets and Charlotte Sinclair, a smallpox survivor married off to Granville Dryer by her brother Perry Sinclair. Although they have the voice in the book, the bull’s eye is hidden in the form of Dora, Ruth’s sister who became Granville Dryer’s mistress at a tender age; Dryer himself who also ‘owned’ Ruth because he trained her as a boxer and Perry Sinclair; George Bowden’s lover since their boarding school days in Bristol, England. The author probably divided the book into Ruth’s, George’s and Charlotte’s stories for a reason.   They are more global in their thinking, unli

Queen Elizabeth and Cinderella

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Religion is not the only vehicle for swaying the mind from left to right or vice versa.   War and physical occupation of defeated countries also lead to the realignment of the mind through what is falsely called education. Education was a means to an end for the Queen of England and colonizing countries that came from the sea such as France, Germany, Spain and Italy.   They could not communicate with nations they conquered in Africa, America, Asia, South America, Australia and New Zealand so they branded local languages uncivilised and instituted English, French, German, Spanish, Italian and other European languages. In the case of southern Africa, education was mainly about learning English.   English was commercial.   Conquered nations had to understand what the new rulers were selling and buy tea, salt, sugar, jam and butter.   The Queen of England took their land and introduced the head tax.   They had to pay it by slaving in the mines, extracting gold and other mineral res

Squeeze Out in Zulu

Squeeze is vova in Zulu. It can be a soft squeeze like lovers squeezing hands or a hard one when squeezing water out of bedsheets before hanging them on the clothesline to be pampered by the sun. After hurricanes, people try to squeeze water from their clothes.   Being caught in the rain might be fun but you have to squeeze water from wet clothes when you get home. In the olden days, when ama-Zulu lived off their land, women made beer and word would get around that at a certain home, ku-vo-vi-we (there is beer).   This comes from the final stage of making Zulu beer when the thick liquid is poured into a long v-shaped grass object call i-vo-vo .   Beer comes out as women squeeze it. Vo-va is also a threat.   It means I will show you what stuff I’m made of or I will get even.   It literally means I will squeeze out all your arrogance or self-importance. Vo-va.   You say the first part like Volvo and the second part like Vancouver. ZULU ENGLISH