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Showing posts from February, 2018

Behind Celebrities' Smiles

Celebrities are public persona or property.Therefore, the pain behind their smiles is bearable compared to the consequences of showing it by crying or frowning in public.They might lose the chance of playing the lead in a television show or sequel, of the many sequels producers love.

The solution is to bury internal seething volcanoes and pray the lava doesn’t erupt at Cannes Film Festival, Jio Filmfare Awards in India, the Grammys or The Super Bowl, and compromise the obligatory smile. They miss being normal but fame’s advantages outweigh obscurity.They used to be normal people who left the house without make-up like the rest of the world, wore the same coat the whole winter, put $20 gas in their used cars or couldn’t get any money from the ATM because of insufficient funds.All that changed when the camera adopted them.

Celebrity.It is the female celebrity to be precise because men are immune to scrutiny.Nobody calls them overweight or frustrated if they don’t smile for the camera.In fa…

Pilot's Message

Dreams fast forward tomorrow or the future, a bright future because nobody watches Orange Is theNew Black or a jail documentary and wish to occupy a space made from steel and monitored by uniforms and guns. Being homeless and combing thrash cans is also, not anybody’s dream.

That is why most dreams are about being rich and famous.Actresses and singers might marry soccer stars like David Beckham, royalty like the Prince of Monaco, Prince Harry of England, and Indian film royalty like the Kapoors and Bachchans. However, there is something besides money, that can spark a dream.Pilot uniforms and the blue sky sparked mine.I would sit in the shade at home in Durban and watch planes take off and land from the airport, fifteen minutes away.I had fantasies about where they had been and where they were flying to.

I upgraded my fantasy and decided that I would be a pilot and lord over deserts and valleys, rivers and oceans. I would drive carefully to avoid hitting the CN Tower in Toronto or Tour …

Don't Let The Food Label Fool You

Food label claims. Eggs sold as grain fed.Are they?

I can vouch for them because I grew up eating eggs at my grandmother’s farm. The egg yolk is sunflower yellow, not opaque yellow like most mass-produced eggs.Otherwise, I have no way of verifying food label claims. How would I know that a pizza dough for the ‘bring your own dough’ party is organic or vegan?My bad!I must explain. You bring the dough and the host supplies the toppings.

Nutrients?I don’t know them.Bad guys like calories are Spanish to me. I wouldn’t recognise a calorie even if it was staring me in the face.What is gluten or who is gluten? I ought to know because it is all there online, but I’m usually too hungry to Google food before I eat.I try to read labels but they are scientific.I only learnt recently that sodium is salt. Maybe I should because it affects the pocket.Alternative food or products that are not mass produced tend to be a few dollars more.The eggs in the pic are three dollars more than the superstore ones.…

Sad People On Vacation

Flying to countries with abundant sun and surf would be fun if we could eliminate the flying part, but that is impossible.It would be like longing for a cake without making the dough, which is very messy.

Nobody smiles at airports, especially outside the departure lounge.Families and lovers are still mad at each other because of pre-flying arrangements: bags full of clothes nobody will wear, hogging the bathroom, leaving home late, getting caught in traffic and nearly missing the flight. Still no smiles at the airport.Check in.Bags are over the weight limit.Accusations start flying.I toldyou so.Calm finally prevails and everybody is settled in the departure lounge. The intercom shatters the peace with that dreaded message: the flight has been delayed.

Passengers board after a few hours.First time travellers insist on the window seat.Seasoned travellers know aisle seat advantages: walking up and down the aisle for some exercise and going to the bathroom without bothering anybody. Ah!The b…

You Pic Sabbatical

I’m on sabbatical from You Pic because of the incredible work on display by amateur and professional photographers, the best online, an opinion I’ve voiced in my other blogs.

I decided to stand back and evaluate the volume or non-volume of my work, if we can call it that.I came to the conclusion that I am not in the position to contribute positively to this quality because of the nature of photography.
Photography opportunities present themselves locally and externally.The local environment is fruitful: a sunset with purple and pink hues, a carousel of sun rays through the forest, a toddler pushing his own stroller, a flying goalkeeper at a junior soccer game, someone dressed to kill in 60’s platform shoes and bell bottom pants, people sorting beans or a line of human carriers with identical loads on their heads.
Photography also happens outside the home territory.It is planned, like a trip to beautiful British Columbia.This Canadian province is a good example because of the topography, …

Thermometers For Waiters

It’s rough waiting tables in restaurants.Demanding clients often leave teardrop tips that cannot buy waiters and waitresses a small cuppa coffee.

Some demands are legitimate such as a request for a baby’s high chair, but commenting on her cuteness and picking up the toy she threw on the floor are beyond the call of duty for the waiter, who still has four people to attend to in his section.
Scrolling down your phone to show a waitress your Canadian vacation photos just because she said she’s Canadian is a waste of her time.By the way, you commented on her accent and asked where she was born. Other demands leave serving staff speechless.

I asked for medium vegetable curry.This is hot.
I asked for a medium rare steak.This is rare.
I asked for well done eggs.These are medium done. I asked for chicken risotto but i don't see a chicken wing or thigh. The solution seems to be a thermometer for servers.If there’s a complain about the curry, the waiter will insert it to get a reading, let’s say re…

Trump Voters Explain

South Korea is where the action is, with Americans and other countries trying to collect some gold medals at the 2018 Winter Olympics.

Americans also get questions about their vote.  Donald Trump was elected by the silent majority that flew under the radar because they could not voice their love for the man openly.It’s been a year since they voted for him on 8 November 2016 and this is what they could probably say about their vote.

Firstly, we have feelings about the United States that we cannot admit in public because we might lose our jobs: church choir master, shop steward, event organizer, software developer, president of our cultural organization or even lose customers. Secondly, we don’t want to be constantly reminded about the state of the economy, race relations, women as full human beings, who Kim Jong-un is, the difference between South and North Korea, global warming and the Arctic, how American workers lose jobs to offshore workers who don’t have the phrase minimum wage in th…

Should I Go To College?

Foreign students convince their parents that a French, German, Canadian or American graduate or post-graduate certificate is a good investment, but what can universities teach them that is not found online?Many things.The internet cannot teach them how:

·to do a heart transplant or caesarian section on pregnant women
·to become effective criminal or human rights lawyers
·to build electric cars and busses
·produce antibiotics to arrest various illnesses
Parents eagerly buy into the idea of a foreign university education for a variety of reasons:

·They like the idea that classes won’t be interrupted because the youth wing of a political party is forcing communism, which ironically is called ‘democratic’ ideas on the whole student body, as it happens in some African countries.
·Classes won’t be interrupted because the student union has called a strike for better food.
·They like the idea that their children won’t become college prostitutes in order to have cars, live in expensive apartments, hav…

Mom I'm on TV

You will be interviewed on television at some stage in your life, especially if you are responsible for the dissemination of information where you work, in your capacity as Director of Communications.

You could also be on television if you champion a certain cause like whales swimming in oceans polluted by oil spills, play unusual sports, have one million YouTube views per month, or your eccentricity, demonstrated by the refusal to have a mobile phone. On Camera Looks
Whatever the reason, your first television interview will be a piece of cake if you understand the importance of two things:

·how you look and;
·how you answer questions
How you look supersedes everything because although television interviews should be about information, people tend to remember how you looked and not what you said. Sensationalism
Visuals. Television stations want to interview you because they think you have something, but they are also hoping you will give them ‘great tape.’

Everything is digital now but produc…

A Hiding Place Called Canada

Canada is not a land of milk and honey, but a land of closed curtains, electrified fences and gates, where we hide wounds of the past caused by class, culture, race, political affiliation, religion and gender.

We were born somewhere else, but safely live here.Safely, because we don’t fear that the secret police will arrive at dawn, cart you away to an unknown destination, never to be seen again.No one will set your house on fire because of religion or political affiliation.

However, not all outsiders are immigrants or refugees.There are thousands of people who do not dream of carrying a Canadian passport because they are marking time, hiding in Canada until circumstances that forced them out of their countries disappear or are resolved.

Hiding in a country has a plus and minus.The plus is that you can be incognito, with the assurance that with your short pants, flip flops and baseball cap, nobody will recognise you as the minister of environment who took bribes and allowed American hazar…

Authors' Survival Code

Authors should review each other’s books.They must have a survival code like fishermen, who help each other when there’s a distress signal at sea.

Authors would sell more books if they practise some reciprocity.I review your book, you review mine.I’ve bought and reviewed several books, but nobody has reviewed Sweetness, my novel.I ‘ve therefore decided not to review books anymore, just enjoy them and keep the analysis in my head, and not release it to online masses. Writers are at sea like fishermen, I guess.There is turbulence in the horizon.Book publishers and libraries are going out of business.The written word on a page has been side kicked by moving images: videos.

Standard German, Spanish, English, French, Polish, Ukrainian, Korean, Russian, Irish and all languages in fact, have their backs against the wall because of Twitter and Facebook abbreviations that have no regard for spelling and syntax.Ask college professors what they see in student papers.

We work on the turbulent sea wit…