Office Parties No Cellphones Allowed

No cellphones at weddings.  It is now common for the bride and groom to ask guests not to take photos because they don’t know where they’ll end up.

The same thing should apply to office parties.  No picture taking thanks very much.  Come to think of it, cellphones should be checked in at the door with parkas, in Canada and Russia that is.  Logistics would be the problem though.  Coats have hangers, not cellphones.  Switching them off is a good idea. 

Why?  Because all workers have friends and enemies.  Year-end parties are about letting your hair down, time to forget about falling sales, unfair promotions and customers from hell.  Unfortunately, booze forces other things to go down, like running mascara.  Make-up is not as smooth as it was at the beginning of the party.  Enemies might grab that chance to take lousy photos and post them online.
The tongue also runs loose after a few drinks.  It might reveal how you feel about your boss, like how you love and want to marry her.  Don’t do it.  Your enemy might send the confession to YouTube.  Don’t even think about table dancing or clothes’ free karoeke.   

Banning cellphones from office parties will free staff from anxiety.  They will enjoy themselves without fear that they will be trending on Instagram or Twitter.  You have a wrist watch cellphone?  Please don’t use it surreptitiously and post pics of drunken co-workers.  
They will sue the company for defamation of character.
By:  Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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