Dinner Party for my Followers

The problem with the internet is that I cannot invite my followers to a dinner party because of logistics. Canada?  No thanks.  It’s very cold, says followers born and raised in Argentina.  That’s very unfair.  Canada is warm, some days.  So, where will the dinner party be held?

Anyway, it would be like playing the Lotto because of time zones, unequal currencies (British pound is king when it has no gold, diamonds or platinum), work commitments and visa problems.  
My followers come from different cultures and faiths so the menu will be quite wide to cater for everybody.  I will fly the correct food from any part of the world because I have secured an unsecured loan from Bill Gates. 

Let’s say, I’ve ironed out all the logistics and we have set a time and date.  Will dinner guests show up?  If they do, will I recognise them?  How about the host?  I cannot imagine the hurt in their eyes when they see me, the real physical me.
I tell you, they will ‘unfollow’ me before they get to the airport because, I forgot to mention that I have been using my sister’s photo, who won a beauty competition.  She doesn’t know it either because of help from Adobe photo shop.

Nonqaba waka Msimang is the author of Sweetness, a novel set in South Africa.


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