Lie Detector For Voters


America will have a President Elect come Christmas Day 2016, after American voters told the world who they want to move into the White House.

We don’t know how long the honeymoon is going to last but thanks to technology, voters can no longer deny having voted for the new president when things go sour.

The vote is a secret, so we don’t know who will put the new president in the White House, but voters should be accountable.  They usually hide behind bushes like speed cops when presidents start going off the track or send U.S. troops to some country to enforce democracy.

Democracy my foot! That is a big laugh bearing in mind that both Clinton and Trump are products of privilege and class.  Anyway, this new technology will be a microchip that will automatically enter voters’ brains as soon as they enter the voting booth.  Only people who voted will inherit this little baby.

No, voters don’t have to know about it, otherwise they might sue the government or the genius that has invented this accountability chip.  That genius is me, of course. 

This gizmo will come in handy, long after the election, when champagne bottles are rolling in recycling bins and the new president starts messing up.

“Did you vote for the 2016 U.S. president?” asks a junior reporter from an online newspaper.

“Me?  Never.”

Beep! Beep! Beep! The microchip flashes red then the whole world knows that she is lying.  It goes green if she didn’t vote for the new president who is now making major mistakes. 

I would have a patent for the accountability microchip by now, if it hadn’t been for countless privacy and copyright laws.

The morale of the story is: America, vote on 8 November 2016 and be proud of your vote.  Stand up and be counted when the new president skids and falls on the ice.

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