Skip to main content

Hotel Cellphone Deposit for Parents


Checking in hotels can be a nightmare, but can you imagine the receptionist or front desk asking you to declare your phone?

YOU: Excuse me?  Declare my phone?

HOTEL: Yes Maam.  Any cellphone to declare?

YOU: You must be kidding me?  Declare?  Like the airport?  Do you have anything to declare?

HOTEL: Yes Maam.  I can see that you are checking into the hotel with kids.

YOU:  This is crazy.  I’m tired and hungry, so I’ll go along with your stupid joke.  Yes.  I have a cellphone to declare.

HOTEL: Thank you Maam.  Please sign here.

YOU:  A thousand dollars deposit?

HOTEL:  It is refundable.  This is to protect the hotel if your child throws something down the toilet and creates a plumbing problem while you are on your phone, or she wanders about the hotel, gets lost but is not found, while you are on FB, Twitter and other anonymous networking sites.

YOU:  Social networking, not anonymous you fool!

HOTEL:  Can I swipe your card for the $1,000 Maam?

YOU:  Hell! No!  We’ll find another hotel.

You grab your kids who are already on the floor hollering and demanding to go to the washroom, to the swimming pool, give teddy bear his bath or all of the above, until someone taps you on the shoulder.

THE TAPPER:  You better sign.  It’s standard in all hotels now, to ensure that we switch off the phone and give the kids all our attention while we are on vacation.

Aaah!  Aaah!  Which hotel has such a policy?  Go figure.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Black Panther Africa Here and There

Black Panther is about Wakanda a fictionalized country in Africa, but it has delightful snippets of the real Africa.

The movie has tall people, like Kenya’s and Sudan’s sons and daughters. Dora Milaje, the royal guard supervised by Okoye (Danai Gurira) is composed of tall women.Okoye is a common surname or family name in Nigeria, as in Oge Okoye, the actress. There are also scenes where men on horseback are wearing colourful blankets, a common sight in Lesotho, the country surrounded by South Africa.Locals, the Basotho, call these blankets seana marena.The country’s beauty sinks in as one drives from Maseru the capital, up to Leribe and further up the mountains.Great roads too.

Costume design.That’s another snippet about Africa. There is Angela Bassett’s character looking regal, in what is called isicholo in Zulu.Well! it looks like isicholo, a married woman’s headdress. You probably saw the re-mixed version of isicholo in what Beyonce is wearing in the Sorry video. They also speak isiXh…

Black Panther Casting

Chadwick Boseman sure looks like a younger John Kani in Black Panther.That is why the movie won the Best Casting category in my little awards.  Envelope please!

Kani plays King T’Chaka.Boseman is T’Challa, his son.What a striking resemblance.It reminds me of my arrival in New York City some years ago.I used to stare at African Americans because they looked like a cousin, uncle, neighbour, teacher, friend, doctor or someone on the bus. Sure, we learnt about slavery at school, how slave traders stole Africans and how internal wars between chiefs also led to humans being taken to another continent in chains. But being in America, seeing people who look like your world, in Africa, was painful.

“Death is better than bondage.” That is what one character said in Black Panther.Was it Erik Killmonger?I’m not sure but I will double check when I go back.Yes, again.The movie is a cinematic buffet.Don’t talk with your mouth full, as mama would say. We gave the film the Best Casting category for other…

2018 Lions and Bed Bugs

The new year 2018 is waiting in the wings, watching with glee another round of happy new year wishes which will never come to fruition because human beings do not have the stoicism, intellect, tenacity, and sting of lions and bed bugs.

They believe in instant gratification, the now-now.That is why they have Nespresso coffee makers, T.V. dinners, plastic knives, forks and glasses, pre-approved credit, disposable Christmas trees and online love.Lions and bed bugs are more realistic.They are patient. They still believe that good things come to those who wait.
It might seem ridiculous to equate the two but they have the same survival strategy.Master planners.They observe the prey: its mating, family, favourite food, watering hole and its residential address.  Careless tourists with cameras are a plus. Prey surveillance is much easier for bed bugs because what’s wrong with not making my bed for a month, let alone regularly washing bedsheets and comforters and hanging them in the sun?Coin laun…