Brand Ambassadors Are Hawkers

It’s very hard keeping up with the English language because advertisers keep moving the goalposts.

Movie stars, NBA and NFL players, Olympic winners or bloggers who use their stardom to sell cars, watches, sneakers, hair dye, gum, cereal and other products they don’t even use, are now called brand ambassadors.

It is rather confusing because the term ambassador used to apply to someone who represented his country in another country.  We are using a male person deliberately because ambassadors are still predominantly male.

Ambassadors have all kinds of neat tools of the trade.  First of all, they have what my Political Science professor called diplomatic immunity. 

Let me break it down for you.  They can do whatever they like in the country where they were stationed, like parking illegally in Cairo or Kiev.

The best tool they have though is the diplomatic pouch or bag, which just slides through customs because customs officials were told that it is a no, no, no, to open it. 

Diplomatic staff can therefore hide porn magazines, drugs, guns, illegal cellphones and all kinds of things necessary to help revolutionaries overthrow the sitting government.

Do you think I’ve been seeing too many movies?  I kid you not.  Ambassadors therefore act in the interest of their country, whether it is evil or not.

Movies stars that advertise products act in their bank accounts’ interest.  I have yet to see an actor or actress that advertises only one product.  The bottom line is money.  It is therefore very hard to accept that hawkers can be called ambassadors.

Travelling salesmen and women is more like it.

His Excellency, the toothpaste ambassador.